Barkada, alak at sikreto

Tanong sa kin ng wife ko - Ano bang masarap sa alak, ambaho-baho ng amoy, gustong-gusto nyo? Paggising nyo pa, sakit sa ulo ng hang-over. Ang masarap sa alak, hindi yung alak, yung kwentuhan habang tumatagay, yung laugh trip, music trip at kung may ka-table, mas lalong ok, heheh.

Ang karaniwang dialogue ng magbabarkada - "Pare, inom tayo, may problema ko eh."
Aktwali, di naman gamot yung alak sa problema, yung pag-uusap habang nainom ang habol ng may problema. Mas madali kasi sa lalake ang maglabas ng problema kung nakainom. Heto ang sampol ng usapang mag-barkada habang nainom:

Barkada 1: Pare, bigat ng problema ko(tungga at malungkot ang mukha)
Barkada 2: Bakit Pare, tungkol ba sa syota mo, sa pamilya ba o sa trabaho???
B 1: Pare (sabay akbay kay B2) di ko na kaya to, mabigat sa dibdib talaga. Papakamatay an lang ako.
B 2: Ok lang yan Pare (tatapikin sa braso) Cge, ilabas mo problema mo.
B 1: Pare, matagal na tong problema ko, di ko na kayang dibdibin (tungga ulit)
B 2: Cge Pare, kaya mo yan, tutulungan kita sa problema mo.
B 1: Iba ka talaga sa lahat Pare. Kaya di ko maiwasan na mainlab ako sa iyo Pare
(sabay yakap kay B2)
B 2: (nagulat) Ay puta, ibang usapan na yan. (galit) Ibig sabihin, sa dami ng taon
na magkasama tayong natutulog sa kwarto mo, may pagnanasa ka sa kin???
B 1: Pare, tatangapin ko kung babawiin mo na ang pagka-kumpare natin. Wala kong
magagawa, I love u Pare, Pa-kiss??
B 2: (biglang tayo na nakapamewang) Gaga, kadiri ka tita, di tayo talo, darna din ako.

Yan ang problema sa inuman minsan lalo na pag lasing, nagkaka-alamanan ng sekreto, hehehehe.

Assignment from Owen

Seven things that scare you:
1. to be eaten alive by shark
2. to be boiled alive
3. to lost my taste bud
4. to be blind
5. to be left alone in an island with a gay cannibal
6. to ride an airplane with full of people with body odor
7. mapahiran ng fresh kulangot

Seven things you like the most:
1. sleeping
2. iced-cold beer with sound trip or good book
3. vacation
4. going out with my family
5. soaking on a hot tub
6. good surprises
7. being raped by 5 beautiful and sexy girls

Seven important things in your bedroom:
1. 3 pillows and blanket
2. sound system
3. aircon or electric fun
4. relaxed lighting
5. wife
6. sean less toys
7. Alarm clock

Seven random facts about you:
1. 27-m-sg
2. height is 5' 7.5"
3. I have a nice handwriting
4. I snore (amplified down since my operation)
5. My hand perspires since childhood
6. Sorry I'm married
7. forgot my blood type

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Scuba dive
2. para-glide
3. sky-dive
4. ride my own Harley bike
5. co-pilot a helicopter
6. cruise for a month
7. to have my own beer brewery and bar and be rape by 5 beautiful and sexy girls

Seven things you can do:
1. sleep for 2 days straight
2. mix cocktails
3. eat anything edible
4. burp on my will
5. cook
6. catch a wild chicken
7. catch a house mice and cook it for you

Seven things you can't do:
1. sing well
2. kill anybody
3. kill my self
4. eat cockroach like Abaniko
5. eat a live crocodile (it will eat me first for sure)
6. lick the tip of my nose
7. lick my balls siko

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1. smile
2. Witty with good diction
3. 36-26-36
4. eyes
5. God-fearing with nice posture
6. smells good in any part of the body
7. smooth hairless armpit

Seven things you say the most:
1. ungas!
2. ay shet/sira/ugok
3. Ahhhhhh
4. ohhhhhh
5. Yeahhhh
6. ummmmmm
7. plok!

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign):
1. Charlize Theron
2. Angel Locsin
3. Maria Sharapova
4. Pwitni Tyson
5. chichay
6. Delia atay-atayan
7. matutina

Assignment from Mmy Lei

20 Years Ago:
1985
Tsupot pa ko nito, wala pang kamuwang-muwang sa mundo.
I had a tri-bike and always on the go with my classmates/barkada roaming around our town. The following year, had an accident with that tri-bike and never had a bike again.
Had a childhood sweetheart/bestfriend/neighbor with lips comparable to apple and face like an angel. They left our town without saying goodbye.
I never had tasted beer.

15 Years Ago:
1990
Tuli na ko nito. Early high school days and it rocked! My time has been divided with-study, barkada and barkada. We had assembled a mobile sound system and rented it out to organizers. Since we were novice in operating that system, we made a lot of errors during the early events - short circuits, loud statics and sound failures. The most embaracing was a wedding dance party delayed for 4 hours just because all the tapes and records were left back on town. After a year, my barkada took sole ownership of the mobile and payed our shares. It's his business until now.
All of the sudden, my childhood sweetheart came back to our town and she called me "Pare". My cousin became HER GIRLFRIEND.
Kinantahan ko ang nililigawan ko ng "Getting to know each other" sa PE class.
Kinantahan ako ng isang bading na nahuhumaling sa kin ng "Getting to know each other" sa stage na may hawak na mic. Muntik ko ng gulpihin yung bading.
A bottle of beer means more than 12 hours of sleep and a drum of urine.

10 Years Ago:
1995
Hasang-hasa na. My time has been divided with - college, barkada, gimik at work. It was exhausting but exciting. Never had a serious relationship. Puyat lagi, kaka-drawing.
Beer had no taste and pomelo juice was a favorite of barkada, with bilog.
I become addicted to buko juice.

5 Years Ago:
2000
Had a great and stable job but left for Singapore. Returned to Pinas, get married and
become a father after a year.
My weight was 65 kg.

3 Years Ago:
2002
Burning my ass on work here in Sg.

Last Year:
2004
Family joined me here for good.
Still burning my ass on work.
I started blogging and gained a lot of cyber friends.
My weight became 73kg.

This Year:
Had a promotion.
Had a surgery for the first time.
Blogging is part of my daily chores.
My weight became 75kg.
Still burning my ass on work.

Yesterday:
Was sleepy all day and had a phone argument with a pain in the ass
subcontractor.
I saw my ass on the mirror and I like the way it was burnt.

Last Night:
Ate porridge (lugaw) for dinner.
Rented 5 kids' movies for Sean and watch with him till 12 midnight.

Today:
I woke up early but still late at work. There was a mentally retarded guy on the bus
and was talking on high pitch in chinese.
The worms on my stomach are now having a rally, I didn't feed them this morning.
I'll jog or cycle tonight.

Tomorrow:
I'll wake up early because it's payday. But I will sleep again because my ATM card
is with my wife.

Next Year:
I'll visit Ka Atoy, Ka Uro, and Mmy Lei and the strip clubs in Auckland, nyehehehe.

5-10 Years From Now:
I'll have my own bars with 5 branches worldwide. The main branch will be in Batangas
with the name of "Barikan sa Silong ng Susong Dalaga".

And HE said, "Let there be beer!"

Saturday, after a friends' kid's b-day party, diretso na kami sa haybols nila bayaw. Ok ang pasalubong, chiken Joy from HKG, sarap talaga ng Jollibee. At syempre, di mawawala ang inuman pag nandun kami. Baraha, kwentuhan, beer, laughtrip at soundtrip ang inatupag namin. Tong-its at pusoy hanggang 3AM, kwentuhang lasing habang tumatagay till 5AM, bitin pa kaya lumabas pa kaming 4, naka-ubos pa kami ng 2 ltrs. of tiger beer sa kanto at nag-breakfast na rin dun. Balik sa bahay ng 6:30AM, then kanya-kanya ng pwesto ng tulog sa sala. Nagising ako ng 9AM, iba ang effect ng inuman sa kin this time, di ako makatulog kahit puyat ng magdamag. Sumabay ako ng breakfast nila wife at inom na rin ng kape. Mild lang ang headache ko kaya higa na lang muna at nood ng tv since di naman ako makatulog. Umuwi na rin kami after lunch, shower then saka na ko nakatulog till 7pm.

Iba ang laughtrip namin sa inuman, sakit sa panga. May napagtripan kaming topic tungkol sa isang guy. Hinuhuli namin kasi kung totoo ang chismis at di naman kami nabigo. Lasing na kasi yung isang nakaka-alam kaya huling-huli sa mga reaksyon nya. More or less, nakumpirma namin ang chismis, hehehehe. Pero ok lang naman kung totoo o hindi, napagtripan lang.

I checked my weight, 70++ kg pa rin naman. Kahit na comfortable pa ko sa weight ko,
I plan and target to loose 5-10 kg in a month or 2, makaya kaya? Ang problema wala pa rin akong makitang gym na malapit sa flat namin, yawa! Basta, di ako uuwi sa Pinas na may tyan, kailangan flat ang tyan ko para maraming paglagyan pag nag-inom dun, hehehe.

Who the hell invented the "snooze", I salute you!

Ganda ng umaga ko, di ako late sa work. Oo mga kapatid sa panginginom, may work ako ng saturday, half day lang naman. Normally, 30-45 mins ang
byahe ko from home to work, 8:30 ang start at 8am ako lagi nakaka-alis ng bahay. Dapat sana, 7:30 ako umaalis para may allowance time sa paghintay ng bus at paglakad, pero sarap matulog eh. Ang alarm ko ay naka-set ng 6:30 pero pag-off ko, balik kama ulit at 7:30 na ko magigising ulit kaya, balikwas at diretso na shower. Di uso breakfast, minsan-minsan lang at left-overs sa gabi lang ang tinitira namin.
Kanina, nang mag-alarm ang relo, tumayo ako pero antok pa talaga kaya pindot ulit ng snooze tapos balik sa kama, pero sa tabi ako ni esmi tumabi. Right side kasi ako ng kama, si Sean sa gitna at sa left si esmi, maluwag naman dahil lagi kaming magkapatong ni esmi king-size yung bed namin at payat kaming 3 (may baby fats lang ako ng kunti). Napasarap ang higa ko dahil masarap kayakap ang bagong gising, mainit-init at malambot-lambot ang katawan. Kaya lang snooze yung napindot ko, kaya every 10 mins, nag-a-alarm. Sarap pa sanang mamindot-mindot pa pero nung 2nd time mag-snooze, diretso na ko sa shower kahit masakit sa puson.
Pagka-shower, on ng pc, listen to DZRH, check ng personal e-mails habang nagbibihis.
Tapos sibat na.
Sarap talagang mag-byahe ng Sabado, maluwag na ang bus, ambilis pa dahil kunti ang sasakyan. Ang masarap pa, walang masyadong may putok pag weekend, ewan ko lang
weekend yata ang schedule nila ng paliligo.
Pagdating sa ofis, on ng PC, open ng programs then punta ng pantry para kumuha ng
coffee. Minsan, tatagal pa ko ng 15 mins dun pag naharang ng kwentuhan. Then balik
sa cubicle. Lilipas ang araw ko sa work, internet, phone calls, site visits at meetings. Minsan nakaka-inip, minsan naman, ambilis ng oras.
Mamaya, punta kami sa isang kid's b-day party, sana may beer, hehehehe.

Bata + Paeng = BaEng

SMB 0-balls championship: Sean vs. Efren "Gurang" Reyes.


Sean showing the double backhand spin "canal" move; courtesy of Tiyo Paeng Nepumuceno.

Memory Bank

Have you ever tried digging your memory, the most past memory that you can remember? If you still remember how you get out of your mother's womb, I tell you my friend, you are one gifted child. But even I have the way to do it, I'll never try, baka masuka lang ako, hehehe.

It's just fascinating how our brains processed millions of bytes of memories. Sometimes, a forgotten event just suddenly appear from nowhere. Tulad ngayon, naisip ko na lang, naihi nga pala ko sa shorts ko nung Grade 1 ako. Then, the faces of my playmates when I was around 6 yrs old. On how I had followed the things they dared me to do, from swallowing a small stone to tasting my urine. I still remember playing in the rain and catching small fishes and frogs on the canal and the small insects called "puyo-puyo" from the small holes on the sand. Some of these were not really clear pictures but I know they happened.

These memories, most of them will be lost when we grew older and eventually when we die. If I have the resources and knowledge to research and develop a machine that can record one's past memories, I know I will be richer that Bill Gates. Imagine, a machine that records and play your past memories chapter by chapter like a dvd movie, that would be an awasome invention. It'll be more like re-reading your past blog in video format. Well, this idea will might be realized centuries from now.

Oh, I just remembered, naglaro din pala 'ko ng bahay-bahayan at lutu-lutuan, but can't remember if I was the sucking father or the sucking baby, hik.

Jog till you die, Mayt

I was interviewed last friday by an Australian company thru phone.
Hang hayrap ayntayndihin ng slang nala, yan nahawa na ko sa accent. Wala silang "EYYYYYYYYY". Parang ganito - "TO DIE IS FRI DIE, TO DIE IS NO GOOD DIE TO DIE". Dyosko day! hehee
Good thing, the second woman who took my personal informations was quite patient with my "I'm Sorry" and "I beg your pardon" phrases, which she might have heard a million times. The conversation went well, making it more relax by me throwing some funny adlibs, she was laughing and giggling, lukaret yata. I'm not expecting a positive result for now but it was good to know that a company have shown interest on my resume. Picture ba naman ni Tom (kara) Cruz ang nilagay ko dun, hehehhee. Picture kaya ni chitae ang ilagay ko dun, may magka-interes kaya?

I jogged around a couple of block last night and my feet are cramming today. I was looking for a nearby gym but guess what I've found, more food courts. And not just normal food courts, these were the ones I have seen advertised on tv serving
mouthelicious meals. Guess I have to change my direction next time.

Kwatro-kantos

Heto na ang napakasarap na 4 na TAGay ni Mang Goyong!

APAT NA PINAKADAKILANG PILIPINO:
1. lola ko - sa pagdadalantao sa nanay ko
2. nanay ko - sa pagdadalantao sa kin
3. asawa ko - sa paglalaba ng brip ko ng 4 na taon na walang hinihinging bayad
4. anak ko - sa pagsapok sa kin ng walang malisya

APAT NA PILIPINONG HINAHANGAAN MO SA ANUMANG LARANGAN
1. Manny Pacquiao - sa kagalingan sa pagsalo ng mga suntok ni Morales
2. Fernando Poe - sa galing ng pag-iwas sa bala
3. Lito Lapid - sa galing mangabayo ng babae
4. Chitae - sa pakikipaglips to lips kay Kris Aquino

APAT NA MAGAGANDANG LUGAL SA PILIPINAS NA NARATING MO.
1. Greenbelt nung mid 80's
2. Quad nung mid 80's
3. Bukid sa probinsya namin
4. Tagaytay highlands

APAT NA LUGAL SA PILIPINAS NA GUSTO MONG MAPUNTAHAN
1. Mt. Apo
2. Babuyan Islands
3. Tawi-tawi
4. Quezon Ave sa gabi (di pa ko nakapunta talaga dun)

APAT NA BAGAY NA PAG-NAKIKITA MO NAALALA MO ANG PILIPINAS.
1. Maitim na usok ng sasakyan
2. nagkalat na dumi ng aso
3. Bagoong
4. bakla (nagkalat kasi ang mga bakla sa tin, hehehe)

APAT NA PUTAHENG PILIPINONG PABORITO MO.
1. Pakbet ilokano
2. pritong tuyo
3. lumpiang sariwa
4. lechon

APAT NA SALITANG PILIPINO NA KAILANGAN MO NG TALASALITAAN PAG IYONG NARINIG
1. dayukdok
2. dinayukdok
3. dadayukdukin
4. magpapadayukdok

APAT NA KANTANG PILIPINONG GUSTO MONG MARINIG.
1. Humanap ka ng panget - pang-asar
2. Bikini mong Itim - pang "mahilig"
3. tenk yu! tenk yu! ambabarat ninyo! - pang-karoling
4. Hindi kita malilimutan - pamatay

APAT NA MATATAMIS NA SALITANG O KATAGANG PILIPINO
1. inuyat - Halika na, inuyat ko!
2. makapuno - Ikaw ang makapuno ng buhay ko!
3. pulot - Sintamis ng pulot ang labi mo!
4. gata - Napakinis ng kutis mo at napakaputi tulad ng gata

APAT NA APELYIDO NA PAG IYONG NARINIG NAKAKATIYAK KANG SILA AY PINOY
1. Arroyo
2. Garcillano
3. Marcos
4. lahat ng apelyido ng pulitikong ugok

APAT NA PANGALANG PINOY NA AYAW MONG IPANGALAN SA IYONG ANAK.
1. Tekla
2. Isponklong
3. Bangaw
4. Gloria

APAT NA LARONG PILIPINO NA NALARO MO NA NG BATA KA PA.
1. Tirador
2. Sumpit
3. Syato
4. bahay-bahayan

APAT NA BAGAY NA AYAW MO SA PILIPINAS.
1. gobyerno
2. polusyon
3. traffic
4. masasamang tao

APAT NA BAGAY NA GUSTO MO SA PILIPINAS
1. demokrasya
2. pagkain
3. mahilig maligo ang Pinoy
4. pagkain ulit

APAT NA BAGAY NA GAGAWIN MO KUNG IKAW ANG PANGULO NG PILIPINAS.
1. Mangurakot
2. Mangurakot pa ng madaming pera
3. Kurakutin pa ang lahat ng makukurakot
4. Ipunin ang lahat ng nakurakot at bayaran ang lahat ng utang ng Pilipinas.

What's on the menu

Inggitin ko lang kayo ng lunch ko kanina. Heto ang menu namin:
Pritong Isda na di ko alam ang pangalan pero kahawig sya ng galunggong, malaki nga lang ng kunti, Kangkong with bagoong, fresh kamatis at Manggang hinog na galing sa Pinas. Sarap magkamay! Inggit ka ba Ka Uro? hehehehe.



At pagkatapos lumamon kumain, ang kasunod ay isang iced-cold:

Cruisin

Feeling senti ngayon, 8 compilation ng cruisin' cd's ang nasa player ko. Nakakatamad tuloy, parang ansarap humilata sa kama, magbasa ng book habang nakikinig ng music, may fruit cocktail na kinakain, may juice na iniinom at naririnig ang agos ng tubig sa labas habang sumasabay sa hangin ang puting kurtina ng bintana. At and pinaka-importante, may 2 seksing masahista sa likod at paa ko.

Lahat naman siguro tayo, may dream house ano? Ang sa akin, gusto ko maliit lang. 2 bedrooms with balcony at open concept na living room, dining at kitchen at may
skylight para natural ang lighting effects. Ang mga ilaw mostly ay wall-mounted at warm lights para relax ang dating. Sa balcony, may jacuzzi, overlooking ang pool at may japanese garden. Gusto ko ng pitched-roof para may attic, nandun ang work area at library.

Sya nga pala, gawa na ang construction plan nyan, pera na lang ang kulang. Toilet pa
lang ang kaya kong ipatayo sa ngayon kaya babye muna, work muna ko.

They said Sg has only one season and that is summer. Since this island is tropically located on the equator, the weather should be most of the time sunny. Its climate is most hot and humid with more rainfall during the monsoon season, which is from November to January. Even though with more rainfall during the monsoon season, there is still a fair share of sunshine during this period. But like woman, I would say the weather here is unpredictable, no offense girls :)

It's been raining almost the whole week but suprisingly the sun was up last Sunday and we grabbed the opportunity to have a picnic and swim to the beach. And after burning our back on the gruelling heat, the sun bid us a farewell with this relaxing view:

Dig it or shave it

Olrayt! bukas na ang pinakamimithi naming holiday. Isang araw lang pero ok na rin. Mas Ok sana kung makakapag-leave ako ngayon pero dehins pwede, daming meetings. Ganito talaga dito, kukunti ang holiday kaya halos kabisado namin ang date. Tuwing Chinese new year lang mahaba-haba ang holiday dito which is 1 week.
Di ko na nga maalala ang pinaka-mahaba kong bakasyon mula nang mag-work ako dito,
yung hihilata lang at walang iisipin.

Naalala ko dati nung bata ako, fiesta carnival lang ang hinihirit ko sa parents ko, pero si Sean, Disneyland Hongkong, hanep! Nakikita nya kasi yung mga advertisements ng grand opening sa September, pero buti na lang fully-booked na. May pinag-iipunan talaga kaming bakasyon para sa next year kaya wala munang extra gastos this year.

Naisulat ko nun na paborito ko ang Lunes, madalas kasi na wala ang mga amo. At pag wala ang mga amo, di mawawala ang mahabang kwentuhan sa Pantry habang humihigop ng kape. Minsan, parang open forum at minsan, puro kagaguhan lang. Kanina, inabot ng isang oras ang usapan tungkol sa kulangot at buhok sa kilikili ng mga babae. Tatagal pa sana ang usapan, nahinto lang dahil may phone call ako. Pag tingin ko sa relo ko, naknang! isang oras pala ang nasayang sa walang wentang usapan na yun. Buti na lang, sinalo nung isang ka-project ko yung meeting this morning kaya libre akong mag-blog, hik!